From Russia with Love

We had no idea when we boarded the train for a 22 hour journey from Jalgoan to Goa that we were going to have one of the most hilarious experiences of our traveling so far. It all began so, normally...traveling in what is called 3AC, which means in an air conditioned carriage with 8 sleeping berths in each section. We found our seats and locked our baggage to the metal handle underneath, settled down and hoped that no one else would be traveling in our berth other than the woman who was already there when we arrived. But it is India, so of course loads of people sat in our berth opposite or beside us for short sections of the journey, some of them maybe “white people” spotting, some just in search of more space than their booked berth gave. We read, listened to music and giggled inwardly at the Russian woman sharing our berth who kept reading the same bit of her newspaper and bursting into uncontrolled laughter.

After a while a timid Indian who is in the army and was traveling home to see his family joined us and soon after that a confident Indian man who works with goats and biochemistry joined us too. It was the man with goats who got us all talking as he began to share his food. It was interesting conversation, finding out things like Bollywood films are really big in Russia and that every Russian girl dreams of an Indian man?!!!

When the goat man had shared his food, and after kindly advising us never to take food from strangers on the train (as though he wasn't a stranger) the Russian declared that she had something to share too and whipped a bottle of vodka from her suitcase! (Talk about stereotypes!)

“All we need are five glasses and orange juice.” she stated, “get me five glasses!” she demanded of the poor timid Indian and after her third demand for glasses he scuttled off in search of something. The timid Indian duly returned with five 'Indian Railways' paper chai/tea cups and before long we had acquired some pepsi to mix it with too.

Our Russian friend began to set the “glasses” out pour in the vodka...”bas bas!” both the Indians shouted, which I assume means something like “no”or “stop”. The goat man explained he had never had a drink before in his life, so didn't want too much or his wife would know! The timid Indian was obviously relishing this moment, finding it hilarious that the goat man was so nervous. “Cheers” we all said as we shared in the goat mans first drink of his life. Goat man was so nervous that we'd get a fine for drinking on the train that he kept telling the Russian to hide the bottle behind her while he fixed the “privacy curtains” closed and said “shhh” to all the belly laughing going on. We laughed away a good number of hours together and when our glasses were empty the Russian reopened the vodka and began to pour “Russian hospitality never allows a glass to be empty” she stated. As she said this a look of panic passed across the goat mans face and he tried to discreetly slide his glass down his far side, it was comical!

When it came to bedtime the Russian was true to form and abandoning all cordiality abruptly stated “I want to go to bed now” meaning, 'you are all going to have to lie down and turn the lights out because I now want to sleep'. Not that we minded, our stop was a four something AM, but it was perhaps a little rude after so many hours of sharing food, drinks and conversation.

I am sure this has not seemed that funny to you at all, but I had to share it. For us it was just a quality experience, and very funny. Amazing how a few strong personalities and a bottle of vodka can transform a 22 hour train journey!

Two travellers, a Russian vet, goat man and timid Indian army guy :o)